Little Dreams
by unfinishedthought
Summary: AU: Meredith wakes up after surgery and realizes everything she thought was real was just a dream. How will she cope with reality? All characters will be included and all of them are alive!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is just a brief first chapter but there's more to come! I'm still upset over Derek's death so what better way to deal with it then pretend this is going to happen! I hope you guys enjoy, the next chapter will be much more eventful. Don't worry, it will have a happy ending :)**

Meredith's head was blurry when she woke up. It took everything awhile to become focused in her vision. She was in the hospital; as a patient. As she slowly became more alert she was hit with a wave of fatigue. She couldn't remember what had happened; the last thing she remembered was pulling the plug of Derek's life support. Now she was in a familiar hospital room, one that could only belong to her hospital.

She tried to move but her body ached and her head pounded. What the hell had happened?

"You're up." A voice said in her doorway.

She looked to see none other than Derek Shepherd standing before her. Seriously, what was going on. She could feel tears beginning to sting her eyes and a smile creep across her face. He was alive. He was standing before her, living and breathing. He smirked at her and walked into her room, holding a chart.

"Welcome back." He smiled. "Can you tell me your name?"

Meredith looked at him confused. How could he not know her name? They were married, they had kids; didn't they?

"Meredith." She croaked, only then realizing how dry her throat was.

"Meredith." He repeated, sending chills up her spine. She loved how he said her name. "Do you know where you are?"

"Hospital." She answered.

"Do you know which hospital?"

That should have been an easy question for Meredith, but after Derek had to ask her name she wasn't too sure of anything. She simply shook her head.

"You're at Seattle Grace, Meredith. Do you know why you're here?" Again, she shook her head. "You had a brain tumor. The surgery went very well, you should make a full recovery. You'll be in a little pain and groggy for awhile but I'll take very good care of you."

"Dr Shepherd!" Cristina burst in, "there's an incoming head trauma, we need you."

"Cristina." Meredith said.

"Yeah?" Cristina answered confused.

"It's me, Meredith."

"I know, I got to scrub in on your surgery. Neuro, definitely not for me, no offense Dr Shepherd."

"None taken. You're one of the most promising interns here Yang, but I don't think Neuro is for you." Derek smiled.

"Cardio." Meredith spoke.

"Cardio?" Cristina was almost taken aback.

"I see it." Derek commented. "Who's on Burke's service today?"

"Burke?" Meredith said to herself.

"Stevens." Cristina answered.

"Switch. I can see you going far in Cardio Yang. Great suggestion Meredith."

"Right away, Dr Shepherd." Cristina hurried out of the room.

"I'd better get down to see the head trauma. You rest and I'll check on you later, okay?" Derek smiled and left.

Meredith was tired but couldn't sleep. She had had surgery. Everything she had thought was real was really the after affects of anesthesia. Cristina didn't know her, Derek didn't know her. Izzie was still at the hospital. Izzie probably wouldn't know who she was either.

Unanswered questions swarmed Meredith's brain. Was Derek still with Addison? Was her mother alive? Mark and Lexie? George? Were the people she had grown to know and love while under anesthesia real or were they just figments of her imagination?

Eventually, sleep claimed Meredith and she drifted off for a few hours.

When she woke up she found Richard Webber sitting by her bed. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and she looked at him.

"You're awake." He smiled. "Dr Shepherd said the surgery went well. You should be able to catch up to the other interns in no time. You are a Grey after all."

"Water?" She croaked. She was feeling more awake than she had the previous time she woke up but her throat ached more than it had before.

"Oh, of course." Richard said and brought her a cup of water. "How do you feel?"

"Weird. I had a dream and I thought it was real." Meredith confessed.

"You'll see this happen throughout your career, Meredith. Don't worry, as time goes on you'll forget about it and live in reality with the rest of us." Richard joked. "Hopefully the next time I see you, you'll be in scrubs."


	2. Chapter 2

Today was Meredith's first day as an intern. She had been back at the hospital a couple times since her surgery but for nothing more than routine check-ups which she had passed with flying colors. Every time she had went to the hospital she had been able to persuade Richard into giving her a couple post-ops to do so she wouldn't be so far behind the other interns.

On her first day back Meredith was given the opportunity to scrub in on a surgery with Richard which she happily accepted. It wasn't until she was in the OR she regretted it. The gallery was full and she could feel all eyes on her. She was Grey, and this was a general surgery. People were eager to see if she was as good as her mother or if she'd make a fool out of herself. It was more pressure than Meredith would have cared for her first day back but she loved nothing more than proving people wrong.

The surgery was longer than Richard and Meredith had originally anticipated. When unexpected complications arose they found their patient in need of an emergency bypass surgery before they were able to continue. Dr. Burke performed the procedure with Cristina assisting him.

"I think you may have found your specialty, Dr. Yang." Richard smiled as Cristina closed the mans chest.

"Thank you, Dr. Webber." Cristina accepted the compliment and followed Burke into the scrub room to scrub out.

"Shall we continue, Dr. Grey?" Richard asked.

"Of course." Meredith replied and continued to assist Richard.

After closing, Meredith trudged into the scrub room, her head pounding and her body aching from the longer than anticipated surgery. She was still supposed to be taking it easy and this definitely was not taking it easy. She sucked in a deep breath and gripped the edge of the sink.

"Is everything alright?" Richard asked, concerned.

"Yeah, just a headache." Meredith replied trying to shake it off as if it were nothing.

"I'll page Shepherd, tell him you're on your way down."

"It's just a headache I'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will be, but I'm not risking anything. You know where Dr. Shepherd's office is?"

"Yes." Meredith sighed and finished scrubbing out.

Meredith made her way to Dr. Shepherd's office. She could still remember her dreams from when she was under so vividly she'd been trying to avoid him. After over a month had passed she figured that she would no longer be able to remember her dreams let alone how they made her feel. Seeing him for routine check ups was awful; he was always friendly but she tried her best not to carry on a conversation. She didn't want to feel this way towards her attending but she couldn't help it. To her, everything she had dreamt had become her reality.

"Come in." Derek called as Meredith knocked on the door. "Ah, Dr. Grey, what can I do for you?"

"Dr. Webber sent me down. I had a surgery and it was longer than it was supposed to be so now I have a headache but I told him not to worry because it's just a headache I mean, even people who don't have brain surgery gets headaches and they don't have to be sent for a neuro consult and...sorry, I tend to ramble when I'm nervous." Meredith huffed.

"You shouldn't be." Derek smiled. "I'm not going to send you to get any tests, I'll just ask you some questions and look at your pupil function and you'll be able to get back to work."

"Okay."

Meredith made her way into his office, closing the door behind her. She took a seat in front of his desk and he made his way around the desk to sit on top of it.

"Do you remember when your last appointment was?" He asked.

"Three days ago." She replied.

"What year is it?"

"2005."

"What's your name?"

"Meredith Grey."

"What's my name?"

"Derek Shepherd."

"How old are you?"

"I'm not answering that." Meredith laughed.

"Okay." Derek chuckled and took out his penlight from his lab coat pocket. "I just need to check your pupils okay?"

"Okay." Meredith whispered in replied.

Derek leaned forward and stared into Meredith's eyes. She couldn't look away, even if she wanted to. His eyes were so enticing, they were comforting to her. They were exactly how they had been in her dreams. The corners of her mouth turned slightly upwards as she thought about the things she had dreamt went on between them.

"Something amusing, Dr. Grey?"

"No." Meredith answered, her smile growing wider.

"Everything looks good. Dr. Webber made a good call to send you down though, never can be too careful." He said with a wink.

"Well, I should, I have post-ops so I should, go." Meredith stuttered before zooming out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Meredith had started the evening at Joe's surrounded by her former interns. Slowly, the number of interns dwindled and Meredith found herself alone, still shooting back tequila shots. Ever since being sent to see Dr. Shepherd all Meredith wanted to do was drink. She wanted to forget his dreamy eyes and the way he flirted with her. She was starting to like him, which in turn made her hate him.

"Is this seat taken?" Derek asked.

"No, go ahead." Meredith responded dryly, trying to avoid his eyes as he took a seat beside her.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"I have a drink."

"Well, can I buy you your next drink?"

"How do you know there's gonna be a next drink?" Meredith questioned.

"Is that a yes?" He smiled at her.

"You're my boss, you shouldn't be buying me drinks."

"I'm not your boss, I'm just a guy in a bar." He told her before taking a sip of his scotch.

"A guy in a bar?" Meredith looked at him wide eyed.

She remembered this, at least, she thought she did. In her dream this was how they met, how their whirlwind romance first began. Her heart jumped into her throat. She wasn't a psychic, she told herself, there was no way she could predict the future let alone dream 10 years with a man like _him. _

"Does that mean, I'm just a girl in a bar?" She asked.

"I don't know, would this girl in a bar let me buy her a drink?"

"I think she would." Meredith smiled as Derek ordered another drink for her as well as himself. "The girl in a bar is pretty drunk right now."

"Well, lucky for her I'm not the kind of guy to take advantage."

"No?"

"Oh, no." Derek grinned as he watched Meredith shoot back her tequila.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Are you married? Because I had this dream and it was like this, I mean you were there and whatever and we were kind of a thing and the point is I need to know if you're married."

"No, I'm not married. I was married, but not anymore."

"Okay." Meredith nodded.

"So," Derek said after silence had come over the two of them, "you had a dream about me?"

"I never said that."

"Yes you did, you said I was there and we were a thing."

"I'm very drunk, you shouldn't take everything I say so seriously."

"Mhmm." Derek chuckled. "drunk words are sober thoughts you know."

"Are they now?"

"So I've heard."

"I'm not telling you about my dream."

"I'll wait."

"Will you?" Meredith asked, trying to hide the plea in her voice.

She wanted to tell him. She wanted to know that her dream was telling her of things to come, that the man sitting closely beside her would be her husband and the father of her children. Derek telling her he'd wait was almost music to her ears. It meant whether they were going to be seeing each other and talking with each other, whether they were together or not.

There was undeniable chemistry between them. Ever since she was a patient Derek had been attracted to her. Finding out she was his intern felt like someone had dropped a bomb on him. Sitting with her, their bodies almost touching, made him forget she was an intern and a former patient. Whether or not they were destined to be together, Derek couldn't help but want to spend as much time being around her as he possibly could.

"Let me drive you home." Derek said when Meredith was finally ready to leave.

"I'm fine." She assured him as she went to stand, nearly falling over.

"Are you?"

"No." She admitted.

"Come on." He said, putting his shoulder around her and walking her to his car.

Meredith was asleep by the time he pulled up to her house. He couldn't help but stare for a moment before waking her.

"Meredith." He said softly, shaking her shoulder.

"Mmmm." She groaned, slowly waking up.

"You snore you know." He laughed.

"I do not!" She replied. She went to punch his arm and he grabbed her wrist.

"You have such tiny, ineffectual fists." He remarked.

"Do I now?" She raised her eyebrow.

"Great hands for surgery."

"Among other things." She giggled and leaned in closer.

"Is that right?" He whispered, their noses almost pressed together.

"I'll show you sometime."

"Is that a promise?" Derek asked.

Before she could answer he leaned in and kissed her softly, his hands cupping her her pulled away slowly and looked deep into her eyes.

"I should go inside." Meredith whispered, her voice hesitant.

"You should."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Meredith." He smiled as she stepped out of his car.

"Goodnight Derek."


	4. Chapter 4

"You kissed McDreamy?" Cristina asked in shock.

Her and Meredith sat in the basement hallway, the place they along with the other interns had claimed their first day of their internship.

"McDreamy?" Meredith remembered the name, but she didn't think she'd told Cristina.

The two of them had become quite close. Cristina had thanked Meredith for telling her to pursue cardio, telling her she never knew she could love something so much. Meredith smiled at that, remembering how close the two of them had become in her dreams. It was too soon to tell Cristina any of the specifics of her dream but she had begun telling her little pieces of what she remembered. Meredith tried not to talk about Derek too much and the fact they had fallen in love and gotten married, knowing Cristina would tell her she's crazy.

"That's what Izzie started calling him our first day. What can I say, it has a ring to it."

"Oh, well, then yeah, I kissed McDreamy."

"He's your boss."

"I know."

"Does this mean you're going to get all the good neuro surgeries now? Should I sleep with Burke?"

"No!" Meredith yelled a bit too quickly. "I mean, it's not like that, last night we weren't surgereons and he wasn't my boss, he was just a guy in a bar."

"A guy in a bar? Smooth." Cristina nodded in approval.

A silence fell between the two of them and Cristina began scribbling notes on her post-ops. Meredith needed to talk to someone about Derek being in her dream, just a little. She was starting to freak out at the similarities between her dream and reality and a second opinion was just what she needed.

"If I tell you something you have to promise not to tell anyone, or laugh. Mainly the first one." Meredith began.

"Did you and McDreamy do more than kiss? Was it bad?" Cristina asked eagerly, discarding her post-ops.

"No, nothing like that."

"Then what is it?"

"When I was under, I had a dream."

"That's what you had to tell me? Mer, most patients have dreams while under."

"Me and Derek we were kind of a thing and when we kissed it was like it was in the dream, I feel like it's supposed to mean something but I also feel a little crazy when I say this out loud."

"Look, if your gut says go for it, then go for it. Clearly he's into you Mer, if you think something could come out of it then do it. Just, be careful." Cristina advised.

"You don't think it sounds crazy?"

"A little, but I'm pretty sure you're not the only one of his patients that's had dreams about him. You're probably just one of the few he's pursued." Cristina joked.

Meredith smiled and looked down at her beeping pager.

"Speaking of McDreamy, looks like I'm on his service for the day." Meredith said as she hopped off the gurney and began to make her way down the hall.

"Try not to jump him when you see him." Cristina called after Meredith.

The entire day with Derek was amazing. He let her scrub in on a rare surgery that had been successful despite it's mortality rate. During the surgery the two kept stealing glances at each other and smiling when they were caught.

"So," Derek began as the two of them finished scrubbing out. "I was thinking we should go on a date."

"A date?" Meredith was taken aback with how blunt he had stated it.

"Yes, a date. It normally requires two people, there's usually some food and alcohol."

"If I say yes where would this date be?" Meredith asked coyly.

"Wherever you want."

"Anywhere?"

"Anywhere."

Meredith took time to think about her answer. It should have been simple but she wanted something perfect, she wanted the date with Derek to be perfect. She thought back to her dream and remembered how much he had loved his trailer, and the land he had built their house on. Now, she knew she couldn't say _take me to your trailer_ without it coming off like she had stalked him. Finally, she figured out the perfect answer.

"Somewhere I can see the stars." She finally said.

"I think I know somewhere you'll like." He smiled.

"I'm done my shift, unless there's anything else you need."

"You want to go tonight?" Derek asked, surprised.

"We can, I mean if you want. I have the day off tomorrow if that's better." Meredith said.

"Tonight is perfect. I'll pick you up in 2 hours?" Derek suggested.

"See you then." Meredith smiled and walked out. She had a date to get ready for.


	5. Chapter 5

2 hours was not enough time to get ready. Meredith hated herself right now; furiously rumaging through her clothes looking for the perfect outfit to go on a perfect date with a perfect guy. She had never been like this before. She'd had dates but she never went in expecting a second one much less a marriage. She began to think she was going to crazy and should seriously considering visiting psych. But then she thought of Derek. He must have felt the connection between the two of them, it was undeniable. The way he looked at her made her heart beat faster and gave her chills.

Meredith could remember the trailer perfectly. As she finally settled on a tight pair of jeans, her favorite lavender knit sweater and a light coat she wondered if he'd take her to the trailer. Did he even have a trailer? She shook these thoughts out of her head quickly. It was Derek, of course he still lived in that trailer.

She sat in the kitchen with a glass of wine and stared at the clock. She had debated whether or not to wait in the living room but it was too close to the door and knowing her she'd run as soon as he knocked. The wine was a good choice, she had calmed down and was less panicked about her first date with Derek, at least until the doorbell rang.

"Hi." She smiled as she opened the door.

"You look amazing." He replied, breathlessly, making her blush. "You ready to go look at stars?"

They didn't speak too much in the car. Meredith stared out the window, her heart leaping into her throat as he drove onto a ferry.

"A ferry boat?" She turned and asked him.

"It's the only way to get across the water, unless you prefer swimming." He chuckled.

"No, it's just, nothing." She waved it off.

"I have a thing for ferry boats you know."

"I know."

"You do?" He asked surprised.

"The scrub cap you wear, it has ferry boats on it." She replied quickly.

"Oh, right." Derek nodded. "Do you want to go up on the deck?"

"I'm okay right here." She smiled at him.

Meredith tried not to beam with excitement as Derek drove down the familiar rode that led to his trailer. They were going to his trailer. Meredith was still kind of in shock and albeit a little freaked out over the accuracy of her dream.

As Derek's car came to a stop, he looked over at Meredith and saw her smiling. He couldn't help but do the same. Seeing her happy just did something to him, it was crazy that he was falling for a girl he barely knew. He felt like he'd been waiting for her for so long and now she was finally here and all he wanted to do was open up to her. He couldn't though, not yet. Derek had always been a romantic but knowing you want to marry someone on the first date might not be charming to Meredith, he thought. So, instead he brought her to his trailer and his land, the place he wanted to build a home and a life.

Derek got out of the car and walked over to open Meredith's door. He took her hand and led her to a blanket not far from his trailer.

"Wait here." He smiled as she sat down on the blanket.

He rushed into the trailer and left Meredith alone with her thoughts. She began to think about all the memories she had here, whether or not they were real they felt real to her. She looked over to where she had built him the house of candles and where he had built them a home. Tears flooded her eyes and she wished more than anything her dreams were a reality. She wanted their home to go to at the end of a long day and Derek's arms to hold her close at night. By the time Derek came back Meredith was a blubbering mess.

Derek set down the food he had gone to get beside Meredith and crouched in front of her.

"Meredith, are you okay?" He asked softly.

"Fine." She replied, tears continuing to stream down her face.

Derek sighed and stood. He bent over and picked Meredith up in his arms and carried her to his trailer, setting her down on the edge of his bed. He knelt down in front of her and looked into her eyes.

"Meredith, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine." She tried to stop crying.

"You're crying, you're not fine."

"It's stupid and you'll think I'm crazy."

"I don't think you're crazy." He chuckled.

"You will!"

"Try me.

"Being here reminded me of a dream I had, after my surgery. I know it's normal to have dreams but it felt so real and now I feel so confused because I know it wasn't real but -" Meredith choked on sobs. "I'm sorry, I want to tell you but I can't, not yet."

"It's okay, I'll earn the story in pieces." He smiled and cupped her face with his hands, kissing her forehead softly.

Derek pulled back the comforter on his bed and Meredith willingly crawled under. He turned to go when she grabbed his hand.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"Oh, I have a couch, I just thought -" He trailed off.

"It's your bed." She stated.

"You're in my bed."

"I don't mind."

"Are you sure."

"Derek," she looked at him, her eyes still full of tears, "please stay."

He didn't dispute her. He made his way around the bed and crawled in beside her. Meredith rolled around and lay her head on his chest, his arm immediately wrapping itself around her body to hold her close. She felt safe, it felt like she was in her dream again and everything was okay. Derek was here and alive and holding her as she drifted off to sleep. Derek smiled as she began to snore lightly and he couldn't help but think this is how he wanted to spend the rest of his nights.


	6. Chapter 6

Meredith woke up with Derek's arm lazily draped across her waist, his body far away from hers. She moved her body slightly into his, causing him to stir and pull her into him. She sighed and smiled, it felt so good to wake up in Derek's arms.

He smiled to himself as he felt Meredith's body pressed against his own. He leaned into the crook of her neck and gently kissed her shoulder and inhaling the scent of lavender.

"You feeling better today," He murmured, kissing her neck.

"Yeah, sorry about last night I didn't think coming here would turn me into such a mess." She replied.

"Do you work today?"

"No, not until tomorrow, why? I can go, I mean if you want me to or if you have to work I can call a cab and -"

"Meredith, I was going to ask if you wanted to spend the day here, talk maybe?" He suggested, seemingly nervous.

"Oh, um, okay." Meredith agreed.

They just lay together for awhile, neither speaking or wanting to move. To Meredith, this seemed like the most natural thing, she felt as if she had been waking up this way for years. For Derek, it was so amazing. He was already so head over heels in love with this girl it was crazy. He didn't want to move or say anything that could ruin his chance with her but it wasn't as if she was pulling away.

After awhile, Derek got out of bed and started on pancakes for breakfast while Meredith put on coffee and poured herself a cup before sitting on the deck outside. As she sat outside she felt as if she had been coming here forever. It was weird to think this was her first visit here in reality when she had spent years of her life here; at least in her dreams she had. She looked out at the land where their house had been built and their family had lived. This time it didn't make her sad, but hopeful; she knew she had so much to look forward too with Derek by her side.

Derek set the pancakes down on the small table that separated the chair where Meredith sat and the one he soon claimed. He set down his plate and began to eat. Meredith looked at him and rolled her eyes as she poured syrup, putting whip cream on her pancakes right after.

"What?" He chuckled.

"You put nothing on your pancakes?"

"I can't even see your pancakes you put so much on them."

"It tastes delicious."

"It's also unhealthy."

"Better than Muesli." She laughed.

"How do you know I like Muesli?"

"I didn't but you just confirmed it." She lied.

The day passed by in a lull. Nothing eventful had happened, Meredith didn't say too much, instead she let Derek do all the talking, simply entranced by him. His eyes sparkled and his whole face lit up when he talked about things he was passionate about. He had told her his favorite band was the Clash and that his favorite color was blue, but not a light blue, he liked Indigo blue.

As he said those words to her she could hazily remember her dream; they had been together and she was worried he was hiding something. He had taken her to the trailer and given her this corny speech, telling her things about him he'd never mentioned before. In her dreams, that was the moment she knew she would spend the rest of her life with this man; the feelings were no different here in reality.

He had told Meredith about his 4 sisters and his mother who still lived back home in New York. Derek loved telling her about his family, even briefly. He knew they'd love her when they met her in the future. God, he felt like a lovesick teenager, it was the day after their first date and he was already thinking of their future together. That's who Derek was though, he was a planner in life. He loved nothing more than imagining his future with this woman; the house he would build her and the kids they'd have that would fill it with laughter and memories.

"If I was ever in a coma, I'd want my whole family there." Derek finished speaking about himself.

The two lay on a blanket facing each other, the stars above them their only light. After hearing Derek mention being in a coma, Meredith shifted uncomfortably on the blanket, remembering how her dream had ended. She had pulled the plug, she hadn't called his family.

"What is it?" He asked, concerned.

"Nothing." Meredith waved it off, "I'm fine."

"Come on, what is it?" He pushed a little more.

"Why do you want to know?" She asked.

"I keep upsetting you, last night and right now, I don't want to hurt you Meredith."

"I want to tell you, I really do, but..." She trailed off.

"What?"

"You're going to think I'm crazy."

"I highly doubt that." He chuckled.

"If I tell you, you can't make jokes."

"I won't."

"Promise me."

"I promise, Meredith."

"Fine." Meredith inhaled deeply before speaking,. "When I was under, after my operation, I had this dream. It didn't feel like a dream though I thought it was real. It was years of my life and it felt like I was in reality. When I woke up I thought I'd forget about it, that it was nothing more than a dream. But then, stuff that happened in my dream started happening in my life and it's kind of freaking me out."

"What does that have to do with you being upset?" He asked, confused.

"You were in the dream, Derek. You were in the dream _a lot._"

"What happened?"

"I can't, not yet. I want to tell you but I can't tell you yet Derek."

"That's okay, I can take the rest on faith." He smiled, cupping her face and kissing her softly.


	7. Chapter 7

They were a couple. Well, kind of. Ever since Meredith had spent the day at Derek's trailer and had started opening up to him the two had been spending as much time together as they could. They hadn't snuck into any on-calls rooms, Meredith not wanting the other interns to know she was sleeping with the boss and Derek didn't want her career to be at risk. They were content with spending nights at his trailer. They were in their own little happy bubble.

Izzie's boyfriend was coming into town that night so of course, Izzie wanted to throw a party so he could meet her friends at work. Although Izzie had told Meredith it would only be a few people, Meredith knew how fast things got around in the hospital and figured more than a few people would end up at her house.

Derek smiled as he saw Meredith walking down the hallway towards him. She smiled in return and the two began walking down the hall side by side.

"My place tonight?" He asked.

"I can't Izzie's having a party." Meredith replied.

"A party? Am I invited?" Derek chuckled.

"You could come, I mean if you wanted to. Bailey's coming apparently so if you want to come you can come."

"Do you want me to come?"

"Of course I do it's just -"

"Complicated." He finished.

"Yeah." She sighed.

"I'll come by and if you can't keep your hands off of me I'll leave." He winked.

"I happen to be very good at boundaries." She halted in front of him.

"Oh yeah?"

"I guess you'll find out tonight." She smiled and walked away.

By the time Derek got to the party that night the place was in full swing. Interns, residents and attendings scattered Meredith's house drinking, dancing or locking themselves in any room they could find. He stood outside and leaned against his car, watching as Meredith, who was visibly tipsy and on the verge of being drunk, wondered outside. He stared at her as she swung her hips to the rhythm of the music that blared from inside. She took a swig out of a bottle of tequila before she noticed him standing there. She slowly made her way over to him, smiling as she did.

"You know tequila's no good for you. Doesn't call, doesn't write, not nearly as fun to wake up to in the morning." Derek noted making Meredith giggle.

As he said that another flash of Meredith's dream came to her. Her and Derek had gotten caught by Bailey after having sex in his car. She cringed at reliving that moment. Bailey had made her life hell after that.

"Do you want to come inside?"

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes, how else would I show you my house." She laughed and pulled him inside.

Derek followed Meredith through the rooms of her main floor, weaving in and out of familiar faces trying not to lose her. Eventually they ended up back in the foyer and Meredith began climbing up the stairs, Derek not far behind. She giggled and stumbled into her bedroom and fell onto the bed. Derek followed her into the room and shut the door behind him.

"Take me for a ride Derek." She called from the bed.

The party was in full swing downstairs that nearly noticed Meredith's absence. Except George. George was so hopelessly in love with Meredith that he'd spent the last half hour searching the ground floor for her. He remembered how much she had been drinking, she was pretty far gone the last time he had seen her. After Cristina told him she hadn't seen her for awhile, George made his way upstairs to check to see if Meredith had passed out.

"Meredith?" He whispered and tapped lightly on the door. The music from downstairs was still pounding he couldn't hear her and doubted she'd hear him.

Without hesitation, George opened the door.

"Oh my god!" George yelled.

"George!" Meredith said in shock, climbing off of Derek and pulling the sheet around her breasts. "George, get out!"

"Sorry, Meredith, sorry, Dr Shepherd." George sputtered, shocked to see one of his attendings in the throws with his fellow intern. He was quick to leave, closing the door behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

Meredith dreaded going downstairs. She had told Derek to leave early so he could avoid the confrontation. They wouldn't say anything to him at work, but whether she was at home or at work she'd have to deal with it sooner or later. If only she'd remembered to lock the door.

Eventually, Meredith made her way downstairs in dire need of a cup of coffee. Izzie and George sat at the kitchen table, sipping cups of their own. Meredith walked in, not saying a word. George peaked up from his cup for a second before looking back down again. After pouring herself a cup Meredith took a seat across from Izzie. George's eyes flickered back and forth from Meredith to his cup of coffee.

"What?" Meredith snapped.

""N-n-nothing." George stuttered.

"You're staring."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are George." Izzie piped up.

"I -" George began.

"Don't you dare say anything." Meredith said.

"Say anything about what?" Izzie asked.

"Nothing." Meredith replied, George snorting in response.

"You can't talk about it in front of me and not tell me what you're talking about." Izzie said.

"George wasn't even supposed to know."

"But he does."

"He doesn't want to." George told Izzie.

"But I do." Izzie retorted.

"You really don't Izzie there's some things you can't unsee." George shivered.

"Meredith, what is he talking about?" Izzie asked.

Meredith got up and left the kitchen, in the hallway she could clearly hear Izzie yelling "oh my god!" from the kitchen. Izzie followed Meredith out of the kitchen and blocked her path to the stairs.

"You're sleeping with McDreamy?"

"Let me get upstairs Izzie." Meredith ignored the question.

"He's an attending."

"I know."

"You're an intern."

"Is there a point to all this Iz?"

"Are you doing it for the surgeries? I never thought you'd -"

"I'm not doing it for the surgeries Izzie!"

"Do you love him?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Meredith huffed.

"Awh you do don't you."

"Can you move, please? I have to get ready for work."

"For McDreamy you mean?" Izzie grinned.

"Do you want to look for a new place to live?"

"That was the last one I promise."

"Good." Meredith made her way upstairs, "you tell anyone at work and you're dead!"


	9. Chapter 9

Meredith sat in the tunnels, filling out charts that were long overdue. Cristina made her way down and plopped beside Meredith on one of the gurneys. Meredith didn't say a word, knowing Cristina would soon be riding her ass for sleeping with an attending. There was no way she hadn't known about the night before, but Meredith didn't want to tell her everything; she needed as many friends as she could get seeing as she'd be stuck with these people for a few years at the very least. The last thing Meredith needed was for her co-workers to think she was hallucinating a future that would never happen.

"How did you like the party last night?" Cristina asked.

"It was good." Meredith replied, still writing down her charts.

"I saw you head upstairs with McDreamy, but I never saw the two of you come back down."

"Hmm, weird."

"Why can't you just tell me what happened? I've been supportive of you since the beginning, why would it change now?"

"It's not that, I just don't want it to get around the hospital."

"What, you think I would tell?" Cristina asked, offended.

"No, no, but if someone overheard or something…"

"Meredith, look, I'm not good with this whole friendship thing but I am here for you. You need me as much as I need you just remember that, okay?" Cristina said before jumping off the gurney and walking back upstairs.

Meredith sat and sighed. She wanted to open up to Cristina, she knew Cristina would be a good friend – a best friend – given the chance. Cristina was so pivotal to her life in her dream but for some reason, in reality, Meredith was hesitant. She remembered Cristina in her dream as being very work oriented and Meredith felt that if she really opened up to her Cristina would look at the professional aspect instead of the personal.

After finishing her charts, Meredith headed upstairs to see if there were any last minute surgeries she could scrub in on. She checked the OR board and found that there were no last minute procedures she would be able to assist on. She handed in her charts and was on her way down to the cafeteria for some much needed lunch. On her way down she spotted Cristina and dragged her to the nearest on call room.

"What?" Cristina asked.

"Do you really want to know?" Meredith ignored Cristina's question.

"It's not that I want to know Meredith, I just don't want you to think I'm the kind of person that would purposely blab someone's personal life to get ahead. I'm already the smartest one here." Cristina chuckled.

"If I tell you everything, you won't tell anyone?"

"What do you mean everything?"

Meredith sighed and took a seat on one of the beds, Cristina following her. The two of them laid back and stared at the ceiling.

"Despite what you think I won't give you a hard time, it's your choice and as your friend I'm here to support you and give you advice, not tell you your life is going to shit because you're banging the hottest doctor here." Cristina said.

"I just don't want you to think I'm crazy."

"Why would I think that?"

"When I was under anesthesia, I had a dream."

"You and every other patient." Cristina joked.

"It felt so real though, everyone in the hospital was there. You, Derek, even Bailey."

"Was Toto there too Dorothy?"

"Cristina -" Meredith sighed beginning to sit up.

"Sorry, sorry, finish your story." Cristina apologized and pulled Meredith back down beside her.

"Derek and I, we went through so much. We ended up getting married and having kids and right before I woke up he died. We were so in love Cristina, even now when I'm around him I get the same butterflies I did in the dream. I'm not just sleeping with him. I want what I know we can have. Am I crazy?"

"Were you happy?" Cristina asked.

"So happy you hated me." Meredith chuckled.

"Then that's all that matters. Just try not to confuse your dreams with reality. I don't want you to expect something that might not happen. As your person, I can't let you get hurt."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being my person, not making me feel crazy. Just being there I guess."

"Since you know the future I do expect you to tell me whether or not I'm successful." Cristina joked.

"That would ruin all the fun." Meredith laughed.

The two lay on the bed in silence after that, until Cristina was paged to scrub in on a surgery, leaving Meredith alone. After the on-call detour, she decided to finally make her way down to grab something to eat.

On her way down to the main floor, she saw Derek in the lobby, out of scrubs and talking to the Chief. Meredith watched him as she continued descending the stairs. She saw a red headed woman make her way over to Derek, making Meredith's heart sink into her stomach. The woman's face was all too familiar. Addison Montgomery was at Seattle Grace.


	10. Chapter 10

Meredith did her best to avoid Derek the next day. After seeing him with Addison the last thing she wanted to do was see him and start crying. Meredith wasn't normally an overly emotional person, except when it came to Derek.

She remembered Addison from her dream, she also remembered that when given the chance Derek wanted to give his marriage another chance before coming back to Meredith. She couldn't sit and wait around, not again. As much as she wanted the life she had dreamt the two of them having, it was easier for her to back down than stand around and wait to be hurt.

Derek had tried to come up to her a couple times that day, each time Meredith muttered some excuse and walked away. Derek would always watch her walk away, confused. What had he done? He wondered if she had talked to Addison or if she had seen the two of them the day before. If only Meredith had stayed long enough for Derek to explain why his ex-wife was at Seattle Grace.

"Bailey." Derek called down the hall, trotting to catch up to her.

"What do you want Shepherd?" Bailey asked.

"I need Grey on my service today."

"No."

"No?"

"N. O. Have you not heard the word before, Dr. Shepherd?"

"I have, I'm just confused as to why I'm hearing it now."

"I know all about you and Dr. Grey. She's a damn intern and you're her damn attending!"

"What? Where did you hear that?"

"I'm Bailey, I know everything that happens in this hospital, even if I don't want to."

"This is for purely professional reasons."

"Why do I feel like you're lying to me?" Bailey asked.

"Is that a yes?" Derek smirked.

"If I hear anymore about the two of you so help me I will make both your lives a living hell!" Bailey said before walking away to greet her interns, eagerly awaiting their tasks for the day. "Grey! You're with Shepherd."

"Oh, um, actually I was wondering if I could be on Burke's service for the day." Meredith said.

"Did you just ask me to do you a favor, Dr. Grey?"

"Um, no?"

"So you're happy to be on Dr. Shepherd's service today?"

"Yes, Dr. Bailey." Meredith forced a smile as she replied.

The scrub room was silent as Meredith and Derek scrubbed out of surgery. The rest of the staff had long gone and they were the only remaining too.

"You did good today Meredith." Derek said.

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd." Meredith replied coldly, not bothering to look at him.

"Mer?" Derek began, placing his hand on her shoulder causing her to jump.

"I have charts." Meredith said and exited the scrub room, Derek following suit.

"Meredith!" Derek called, causing the few people who were in the hall to turn and look at the two of them. Meredith froze and turned around.

"I get it okay, you don't have to say anything. I know that given the choice you'd pick her over me so just stop making this harder than it needs to be. Okay?" Meredith told him on the verge of tears.

"Who?" Derek asked confused.

"Please don't do that Derek." Meredith begged, tears beginning to fill her eyes.

"Come with me." Derek sighed and pulled her into an on-call room.

Derek sat Meredith on one of the beds and knelt before her so the two were eye to eye.

"Now, tell me who you were talking about." Derek said, calmly.

"Addison."

"Addison? How do you know Addison."

"I just, I do okay. It's not important. I know that given the choice you'd go back to her instead of being with me. I was just trying to make it easier for the both of us." Meredith sobbed.

"Mer." Derek chuckled. "Addison and I have been divorced for almost 3 years. Given the choice there's no doubt in my mind it would be you. I pick you, I choose you, I love you. I do love you Meredith. I want nothing more than to love you." Derek told her, wiping the tears away that fell down her face.

"Really?" Meredith asked, as she began to cry again only this time it was tears of joy.

"Really." Derek smiled and kissed her.

A/N: I know some of y'all have been saying the reviews aren't posting. I just want to let you know that whether or not they post on here I still get the review as an email and I appreciate all of you taking the time to read and review this! If anyone has suggestions of what they'd like to see happen let me know :)/strong/em/p


End file.
